Right after the raising of hands for the oath, it all ended there; that’s what he thought.
When the clock ticked at around 9 in the evening of 2025 August 16, they rode in a vehicle, and blindfolds were in. Headed somewhere unsure, untold, and unknown. It seemed everyone had drawn a blank destination. The road was quite dark, puzzling, and confusing. They cannot totally imagine what fate is lurking. Their eyes were trying to sneak a little glimpse over that piece of fabric, hoping to at least see the road of the new role waiting ahead. Someone just asked himself quitely while seated in the backseat, “Am I really ready to lead?”
The answer was unsure. The intention was not that pure. Just like the road to the said unknown, everything had been doubtful. Unlike others, some were not born to fully embrace the role. The chosen path was not that clear. Maybe because the end of the term was not yet near.
Spotlight On: A Sick Obsession
Upon reaching the end of the road somewhere at Boso-boso, Antipolo, Rizal, for the annual Leadership Development Program (LDP) of the United Architects of the Philippines Graduate Auxiliary (UAPGA), there he stood. Blindfolds were taken off. Having his pure intentions, once again, felt questioned. From then, everyone was in a form of a circle before the 12 midnight strikes. The piece of cloth was taken off from their eyes, which were covered, and with the piece of paper that has taken over. It was a word carved in that paper, which sooner multiplied to each compelling story. In front of his fellow leaders, he got the cue ‘Integrity.’ He was holding back from accepting the word because it was what he hated the most. He found it hard to explain, or maybe it was just because he cannot define it through him. Like he was afraid to face his ghost of not being accepted at his worst.
He just fondly prefers working with a spotlight on. It seems there’s this sick pleasure in seeking validation and recognition. This is when leading becomes a long narrow way, as they say. The intention becomes myopic, dark, plain, and vain—this is when the road becomes bumpy for not having integrity. In fact, even in his past roles, he was often blindfolded about what it means to be a leader with strong moral principles, decisions of doing the right thing, and commitment to promises. Integrity becomes more elusive when he always wants to have an audience for the things he does. He wanted recognition for what he had achieved. He wanted everything to be done his way. Yes, he made leadership all about him. With that, doubts went even higher, questioning himself being the one who leads. Until he uncertainly accepted that there’s really no I in the word “leader”.
The Challenges: Hitting Bottom, Lifting Up
Until the moon went down and the sun came out. Just a new day for another challenge they faced. It was the very day of the said LDP, August 17. His first station was a challenge of moving from one chair to another, just some of the tasks that taught him about the word balance. It was a lesson about knowing when to step up and lead and also when to be willing to follow and learn. Balanced leaders know when to push forward and when to step back to reflect and recharge and maintain the energy of doing it still with integrity.
Meanwhile, another challenge was the realization about lifting others up. It radiated the elevator principle that lifting others lifts him too. He believed that developing, empowering, and supporting his fellows can be translated to elevating the entire group by nourishing and flourishing each to growth. He needs to hit the bottom in order to lift himself up. This means reaching his absolute lowest point in life until followed by the process of rebuilding, self- improvement , and recovery.
In addition, in front of him was a spider web woven in confusion and complexity. But his collaboration with others embedded with trust and strategy was a whole idea he embraced to win and escape from his own traps, weaknesses, and entanglement- doubts, uncertainty, dishonesty, and doing it for popularity. Fortunately, he learned the idea of shifting those overwhelmingly negative perceptions to more positive interpretations. He translated his own traps, weaknesses, and entanglement to concepts of creativity, resilience, and interconnectedness. Until again, from there, he stood. He’s having a gradual realization about the word he often ignored.
Also, just think of the other test, which converts him from being a “muddy middle” to having muddy boots. Before, he had a “muddy” or unclear path, blurred vision, unclear goals, and unwanted direction. Not until the challenge was to roll and roar. He became actively and physically involved with his team. Not even afraid to get his hands dirty. Until he then realized the essence of leading by example, rather than by fame and title.
On the other corner, there was this splash of water in the pool touching his skin. Just a treat to himself after a muddy, tiring, and sultry day. It was such a refreshing take when crystal clear realizations hugged him. Being a leader with integrity is not intentionally getting attention from a pool of people he serves. And this resonated deeply—a true leader doesn’t dive alone into deeper challenges; he helps others and ascends soon with great experiences.
Spotlight Off: The Road back to Integrity
Until the sun went down and the dawn came out. They headed home. Now, the road was already bright and clear. The answer became now sure, and the intention became pure. In the middle of their prowl, he had so many beautiful realizations about his role. True intentions are often pure when they’re not being seen. No crowds. No audience. No fame. It’s about doing the right thing and doing your job with unity—even when it’s difficult, unpopular, or inconvenient. It requires conviction. A true leader does not seek approval but instead forges a path forward.
As they took the way home from the challenging leadership program, he couldn’t help but reimagine himself before. It was once myopic, dark, plain, and vain of him. But he guessed, it is a nature that sometimes the road becomes bumpy—exciting for a minute, doubtful for seconds, happy at certain moments, confusing in between, then just rewarding after a long narrow road of realising and believing. Just a kind of dynamic setup in being a leader that others often surpass. Well, the said training held the same ideas. It was a mixed feeling of excitement, challenging tests, losing and giving up, then soon getting back up and keeping moving forward. Just like his road back to integrity, it wasn’t smooth, flowy, and easy. The nature of leadership is not always butterflies. It’s not always a beautiful flower all the time. It’s not a colorful rainbow every day. It is a destiny of a bumpy responsibility.
The clock again ticked, the wheels stopped. They were back to where their purpose really started. As they step out of the vehicle, he knows they had so many ideas of what it really means to be a leader. It’s not a one-man job. And it will never be someone’s success alone. Until realising he was no longer the old him. With his unclear and inconsistent intention, leadership might supposedly lead to confusion and a lack of direction. Fortunately, LDP becomes an instrument in keeping the I in the word leader. With those great lessons, being a leader can still be defined through him- and admittedly, I am him. And so I insist, there is really an I in the word “leader”.
And so when I thought my job was already done after that oath, remember it was just me who once got lost.